Friday, February 17, 2006

Oakhurst Victory: Commercial Strip’s New Owner
Vows to Maintain Shitty Character

Residents surrounding the intersection of Mead Road and West College Avenue breathed a collective sigh of relief recently upon learning that the new owners of the commercial strip there have made clear their intention to respect the longstanding neighborhood icon by faithfully maintaining — even furthering — its shitty character.



The strip’s fate became a hot button issue about two years ago when an outside development group attempted to purchase the property with the intention of rehabbing it and returning it to active use. Going so far as to circulate a questionnaire to the surrounding community soliciting their thoughts on what type of businesses they wanted to see, the prospective buyers brazenly suggested the possibility of a restaurant or drug store as the primary anchor.

Thankfully, through a well-coordinated defense on the part of the city (who insisted on quibbling over the inclusion of three additional parking spaces) and the immediately adjacent neighbors (who raised a litany of their own self-serving concerns) the buyers came to realize just what a special place this shit-laden, decaying eyesore has come to occupy in the hearts of Oakhurst residents. Wisely, they abruptly withdrew their offer.

Celebration was short-lived, however, as the strip’s ownership eventually changed hands nonetheless. Would the new owners attempt some sort of “improvements” which would undermine the third world ghetto sensibilities that give the property its unique character?

Thankfully, the answer has emerged as a clear and unequivocal “no.”

“Rest easy, Oakhurst,” said one of the new owners. “You have our solemn promise that this property will remain in grievous disrepair so long as we have any say about it.”

“Thank God,” said Kerry Porter, a neighboring mother of two who has expressed “concerns” throughout the process. “Change is something we can do without. That abandoned, rat-infested shit hole has become comfortably predictable as it quietly rots its way into oblivion. I’d hate to see someone come in and destroy that.”

"Just look at what happened down in Oakhurst Village," she added. "Back when it was all boarded up, it was so quiet and peaceful. Now, with all the neighborhood businesses and gathering spots, there's constant activity. It's a real shame."

True to their promise, the new owners have already begun a series of initiatives designed to further the property’s unique appeal. For example, in digging out some underground fuel tanks, they took the task of follow-through work seriously.

“Anyone could have applied great care to filling the holes, sealing them and restoring the curb and sidewalk around the corner,” noted one of the owners. “We simply dumped a bunch of rocks in them and were done with it.”

“That’s the level of detail,” he added, “that you can be sure to expect moving forward.”

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great. It warms my heart to know that the Big H and the burned-out strip on College Avenue won't be the only reeking crap-holes in Oakhurst.
They join the empty and underdeveloped lots downtown that the nearby residents refuse to allow to be built.

Good for Decatur, we should be proud.

Anonymous said...

Hey you can add the rat ridden vacant dump that once was a plumbing company on the corner of Hillyer Pl and E. Howard Ave to your victory list. Yep those savy neighborhood folks have a web site, signs all over the city and where even featured in the ajc! Now that's how you stop progress. If we can keep this up we can keep the Relax Inn as well!!

Presidunce said...

As long as we are aloud to keep our dogs changed up in our backyards and no one cares if they bark all night I will be happy.